CRS Disease: Can’t remember shit or, if you prefer to keep it clean, Can’t remember squat.
CRS disease is an inevitable side effect of the aging process, and sadly, there is no known cure. If you suspect that you may be suffering from CRS disease, don’t bother speaking to your doctor, it won’t do any good anyway. Besides, you will forget what you called the doctor for by the time the receptionist answers.
Symptoms of CRS disease include, but are not limited to:
1. Walking into a room, any room, and immediately forgetting why you went in there. Early in the disease, many will stand in the room and try desperately to remember what the reason was. In the advanced stages, most will just give up and go back to what they were doing before (if they can remember what that was).
2. Complete inability to remember if you remembered to mail that Birthday card, pay that bill, make that appointment, put that load of laundry in the dryer, etc. Often this will result in the sending of multiple cards to the same person (usually forgetting someone else entirely), accruing late fees on your bills and/or double paying and wondering why you have no money left, double booking appointments, and wearing damp clothes to work at least once per week.
3. You may also swear that you have told your spouse/kids/boss something, when in reality, you never did. This often leads to a feeling that nobody listens to anything you say. You may then become angry with those people and give them the silent treatment, but they won’t notice any difference because you don’t tell them most of the things you think you do in the first place.
4. The reverse can also happen. You may swear that your spouse/kids/boss didn’t tell you something, but in reality you were told. Probably more than once. You may become angry with those people and complain that they never tell you anything.
5. You may start out with a plan for your day, but due to the complication of symptom one, you often end up doing something else entirely. You will then remember, at the most inconvenient time possible, what you were planning to do in the first place and beat yourself up for not getting it done, but not for long. You will forget why you are beating yourself up quickly and give it a rest.
“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two…” – Sir Norman Wisdom